I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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