okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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