I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
