He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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