He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
