No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
