arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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