Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
