Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
