just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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