WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
