I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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