Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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