Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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