Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize