I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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