Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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