Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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