you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
