I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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