i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
this just has baby written all over it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
