Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
