Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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