I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
