I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
