Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
