There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
