sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
