U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize