It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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