i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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