My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize