I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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