Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
