how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
