Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
