ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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