He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
