I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
