had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
