can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
