Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
