DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
