there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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