so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
