no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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