so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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