But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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