Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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