I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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