your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
