I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
