spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
