I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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