Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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