U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize