Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
a search helicopter?!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize