I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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