i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i will never coherently bang her
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
