the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize