mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
