So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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