After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
