My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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