i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize