Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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