Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
