I'm really into asian looking animals
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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