it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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