So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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