yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
