Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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